I heard the life-guard fuss at the child for running on the pool deck, but that wasn't what really caught my attention. What got me was a couple of women sitting nearby. I heard the one say, "At the pool at my house, we don't have any rules, but your parents have to be there." The implication, as I understood it, is that each parent is responsible for their own child's behavior, and that the owner didn't assume any responsibility or authority.
But this is what really got me ... the woman continued to say, "Of course, we had to stop inviting so-and-so because he was always acting a fool and his parents didn't do anything to stop him."
So, rather than just have pool rules and enforce them, it was easier to exclude the child all together.
And then I started thinking about the implications for the classroom. How well do I communicate my expectations, procedures, the "rules of the room"? How often do I assume they know how to behave - they'e been in school for 10+ years, for crying out loud - and how often do I take the time to be explicit and direct? How often am I guilty of excluding a child for not following rules I didn't even give them? for breaking the unwritten rules of the room that I was expecting someone else to impose and enforce?
But this is what really got me ... the woman continued to say, "Of course, we had to stop inviting so-and-so because he was always acting a fool and his parents didn't do anything to stop him."
So, rather than just have pool rules and enforce them, it was easier to exclude the child all together.
And then I started thinking about the implications for the classroom. How well do I communicate my expectations, procedures, the "rules of the room"? How often do I assume they know how to behave - they'e been in school for 10+ years, for crying out loud - and how often do I take the time to be explicit and direct? How often am I guilty of excluding a child for not following rules I didn't even give them? for breaking the unwritten rules of the room that I was expecting someone else to impose and enforce?